A game of obscene excuses

Ever dread attending an event?  That tedious baby gender reveal party got you feeling salty?  That health and safety training sound basic AF?  Would you rather lick a public seat than go on that date?  Well then, this is the X-rated X-cuse-based party game for you.

Look, we all know how to play this kind of game.  If you don't, then what on Earth have you been doing with your life?  You take the question card and find the funniest excuse to match it.